He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
