and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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