One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
