She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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