i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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