i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
