So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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