yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
