I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
