there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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