I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I will pee on everything he values.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
