I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
