dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
