love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
