I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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