Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We had sex on a dog bed..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
