so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dicks are not precious.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
