I could make wine with my vomit
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
