theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm always down for nudity.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
