I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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