How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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