im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
