went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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