Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is not my ceiling
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize