sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
