dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
