he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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