Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think I just sharted jello shots
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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