btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
