Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
