I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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