whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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