you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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