We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
this will be a night to untag.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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