RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
