Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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