So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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