from now on my penis is your penis
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
