it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and she was petting her beer can
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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