We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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