He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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