I'm jealous of your bromance
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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