hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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