Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This baby is an asshole
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
