this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
