I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
