I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize