i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
