dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize