somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Randomize
