i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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