i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
