yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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