it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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