1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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