well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
where does the pee come out of this thing
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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