i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
