i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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